Captain's Log 2016
by La Chatillon
Summary: Arthur doesn't get on with the rest of Europe, so his boss decides to send him to live in the EU house with them in hopes to 'strengthen diplomatic relations'. Oh dear...
1. 4th January

**_Captain's Log: Entry 1:_**

 _Monday 4th January 2016:_

GOD DAMN THAT POSH TWAT TO HELL!

Apologies, I just had to let that out.

Well, I suppose an explanation is in order.

I'm about to leave for work this morning when I get a phone call from my boss. And he proceeds to tell me that as of today, I am an official resident within the EU house.

Of course, me being me, I politely grit my teeth and hung up before I tore that posh twat a new one.

He organised for me a lockable apartment within the EU house where I am now sitting typing this Log. I suppose it could be worse, I could have signed that Open Borders Treaty and had everyone be free to come into my room at any time night or day. That would have been a disaster!

Now, obviously this place is filled with everyone that I hate and everyone that hates me. Europe has never had the best internal relationship.

Ah, I just hope I don't snap and end up killing someone by the end of this year…

Anyway, I'll talk more tomorrow. Cheerio!


	2. 5th January

_**Captain's Log: Entry 2:**_

 _Tuesday 5th January 2016:_

Well I never! This may in fact turn out not too bad at all!

You see, my New Year's resolution this year was to try and stop hiding behind this 'gentleman mask' that I put out for everyone. I felt it was high time to been as I can barely remember a time that I didn't have the mask. This could well turn out in my favour!

But anyway, I suppose I should tell you about how things work around here.

Each resident has an apartment with a drawing room, a bedroom and a bathroom. The apartments are differentiated by means of the flags painted on the doors. Each apartment is warded by a ward of my own invention which allows the ones that signed the Open Borders Treaty to come and go in other's rooms as they please, while preventing any that didn't from just waltzing in any old time. It's quite genius really, fiddly, but genius.

There's a communal kitchen (Well, I say communal, it's been mostly taken over by France and the Italies, with the exception of the personal food cupboards and counters) and attached dining room where everyone eats breakfast and Dinner, and it was in the kitchen that the first encounter of the day happened.

I'd just got up and was in the kitchen about to make a cup of tea when I heard it,

'Ohonhonhonhonhonhon'

The Frog had arrived.

"Bonjour, Angleterre," he said, with every ounce of his usual exuberance, damn morning people.

"Morning," I greeted, stifling a yawn.

"You know, with all those spy skills of yours I would had thought you would have seen it," he said, leaning on the counter next to me.

"Seen what?" I asked.

"The sign, on the door."

"What sign?"

"The one that says you're not allowed in here."

I sighed and looked at him, "Can I offer you a deal?" I said.

"What sort of deal?"

"One that allows me to come in here to make my tea and get snacks as long as I don't go near your, or anyone else's work station, deal?"

He hummed in thought, "Alright, deal," he said, we shook on it. I turned back to my tea.

"By the way, nice t-shirt," I looked down and saw I'd randomly put on my Beauxbatons shirt.

"Don't think anything of it frog," I warned.

He snorted, "Of course not, Hogwarts is shit anyway," he said before walking off.

The next event was breakfast, now that was fun.

The set-up is thus, 21 nations sitting at a long dinner table with a vague seating plan that generally gets mostly ignored anyway. Somehow, I ended up sat next to Paddy and the BTT.

Joy. *note the sarcasm*

"Hey Paddy, could you pass me the sugar?" I asked. The BTT looked at me like I'd grown an extra head.

"What's the magic word?"

"Now." Paddy chuckled and gave me it. I sprinkled a generous spoon of sugar on my cornflakes. I smirked as I saw Spain's jaw drop open.

"You'll catch flies," I said lightly, he shut his mouth with a click. I chuckled quietly before tucking in.

I felt ridiculously proud of myself. In less than a minute I had made the entire BTT speechless. It was glorious.

But then, Paddy made it better.

"So when are you gonna cook me a proper breakfast?" he asked me casually.

I looked at him, trying desperately to ignore the open-mouthed trio

"Whenever Francis allows me near the cookers," I answered, sending a look at Francis.

Bad idea.

I couldn't help myself, I burst out laughing; His face was just priceless. I was vaguely aware of Francis and Paddy having a chat but I just couldn't stop laughing.

Eventually I calmed down only to find myself on the floor. I must have fallen off the chair. I dusted myself off and sat back in my seat. Only to be immediately on the receiving end of Francis' scathing tongue.

"So, Irelande, tells me you can cook."

"Does he?"

"He does, and therefore I am giving you a chance. Cook lunch for the three of us today, using only what is in my fridge and pantry, one cooker and two worktops counters."

I blinked and looked to Paddy who nodded, I turned back to Francis. "Alright. Any preferences?"

"No, just cook what you think best."

I nodded and finished my breakfast deep in thought.

After breakfast I went back to the kitchen to explore the pantry, and found myself completely spoilt for choice. I thought and thought before I finally got it.

Before lunch I went down and started cooking. I wasn't surprised to see Francis there waiting for me. I gestured to a stool and once he'd sat down I got on with it.

I had decided to make a tapas platter that contained all the seafood, meat and fancy vegetables that I knew they liked. This included chorizo, wurst, various seafood that France had in his freezer. By the time I was finished the smell had summoned the other two. I served it on a big plate and laid it in front of them.

"Bon Appetit!" I said with a smile, then retreated to the work station to finish tidying up. I heard a gasp and a quiet moan from behind me and smiled.

Success.

"Where did you learn-?" asked Toni once they were finished.

"Self-taught, mostly" I answered with a smile.

"How the hell do you get that good from self-taught?" asked Prussia.

"Same way you got so good at sword fighting, practice," I answered lightly.

"Arthur, if you make that again you can most definitely cook in here," said Francis decisively.

I smirked, "It would be my pleasure."

I don't think anything else of note happened today… No, dinner was quite relaxed, I sat with the Baltics, interesting lot.

Anyways, Cheerio!


	3. 6th January

_**Captain's Log: Entry 3:**_

 _Wednesday 6th January 2016:_

Bacon for breakfast this morning. Paddy devoured his like a wild beast, unsurprising really, been as he doesn't normally get it unless it's Boxing Day

I also learnt that there was a party planned for Prussia's Birthday on the 16th. I offered to help Paddy and Vlad put up the decorations. Magical decorations are just so much cooler.

Ah! I forgot to finish my explanation of the house yesterday, my apologies.

In addition to the kitchen and dining room, there is a large seating area for everyone. This area contains 21 chairs of all manner of size, shape and colour, my own for example being a vintage 60s style recliner. These are organised in clusters as thus:

Austria, Hungary, Germany, Italy and myself.

Sweden and Finland

France, Spain, Prussia, Paddy, Denmark and Romania.

Latvia, Lithuania, Estonia and Poland

Romano, Belgium and Netherlands

And finally, Greece and Cyprus in the corner.

These clusters are obviously changeable and I may move to sit with the BTT+, however much I hate the lot of them. Austria just Does. Not. Stop. Whining! It's beginning to give me a headache! There's only so much reading I can do before the high pitched nagging gets through my lovely cloud of words.

As well as the chairs there is a TV with many attached games consoles but no decent games to play on them! At first I wasn't too fussed but then I received a call from a frantic Alistair who told me that my black Wildcat, Crumpet, had run off. So I called up a favour with the Fae and got them to magically transport my game collection and Crumpet to my room. They did so with minimal fuss, and just after lunch I found myself on the floor with an armful of black, purring fur. I chuckled and shoved the cat off myself before heading back down to the living area.

Now, from the period of 1 pm to 3pm everyday the living room is Siesta Central. Spain, Romano, Italy, Greece and Cyprus all take their afternoon nap in there. Mostly, that area is avoided at that time, but I took my iPod and headphones into the room, followed by a curious Crumpet.

The room itself was filled with the smell of tomato pasta and the sea, with several turtles and cats milling around and sleeping. I slipped in the room silently and sat in my chair, I put my headphones on and put my music on shuffle.

Next thing I know, I'm whacked in the stomach with something that feels like a hard back book. "Ah there he is!" says Paddy looking down at me, "You were worrying that lot, where were you?"

I looked down at my iPod, it was stopped on Wonderwall, "Manchester," I answered, "Manchester 1997."

Paddy nodded, "You should apologise to these lot," he said, pointing to the four nations behind him.

"Sorry guys, I got lost. Takes a lot to bring me back once I do."

"You looked like you were-a high," said Romano suspiciously, "You're not taking anything are you?"

"No. I haven't for nearly 20 years," I replied easily. I turned to Paddy again, "What did you hit me with this time?"

"Lord of the Rings."

"Ah, that's why it felt like a betrayal," Paddy nodded with a grin.

And that's when Crumpet decided to show up. He climbed into my lap and rubbed up to my chin. "Hey boy, where have you been?" I pet the purring mound as I hear the loud guffaws of Paddy , presumably at the gob smacked expressions on the faces of the four nations I can't see thanks to the cat. "Everyone, this is Crumpet, he's the runt of a litter of orphaned Wildcats who Scotland looked after for while. The rest of his siblings went back to the wild but- Hey! No claws!- he liked me enough to become my pet. So he's going to be hanging around me, hope no one minds." The other four stammered out a negative and quickly left the room, taking their Siesta Smell with them.

I also learnt today I'm to cook dinner every other Thursday, starting tomorrow. So I have tomorrow to find out what everyone likes, Should be a fun day.

Cheerio!


	4. 7th January

_**Captain's Log: Entry 4:**_

 _Thursday 7th January 2016:_

Being sociable is hard! God why the hell did I agree to this?

Oh yeah, I didn't have a choice... Fuck.

So today was filled with me chatting to everyone and finding out what they like.

I made a list of everyone's favourite meals and flavours. I went about it by alphabetical order, of course.

Austria:

Meal: Beef and vegetable goulash

Flavour: Beef or apple

Belgium:

Meal: Moule frites (Mussels and chips)

Flavour: Cheese or chocolate

Bulgaria:

Meal: Bob chorba (Tripe soup)

Flavour: Pork, tomato or mint

Cyprus:

Meal: Baked Cypriot potato

Flavour: Salty pork or almond

Denmark:

Meal: Smørrebrød (open sandwiches, basically)

Flavour: Seafood or cinnamon

Estonia

Meal: pirukas (cold pastry with meat, rice and veg inside)

Flavour: Shellfish or fruit

Finland:

Meal: Lihapullat and perunamuusi (Meatballs in gravy with mashed potatoes)

Flavour: Fish or berries

France:

Meal: 'Coq au vin' (Cockerel in red wine)

Flavour: Cheese or chocolate

Germany:

Meal: Bratwurst and boiled potatoes

Flavour: Wurst or cherries

Greece:

Meal: Mousakka (layers of lamb mince and vegetables, topped with cheese and baked)

Flavour: Olive or honey

Hungary:

Meal: Beef and vegetable goulash

Flavour: Meat or honey

Ireland:

Meal: Sausage bacon and colcannon (mashed potato and cabbage mixed together)

Flavour: Potato or caramel

Italy:

Meal: Pasta (duh)

Flavour: Nut or caramel

Latvia:

Meal: Nettle soup (Actually very tasty, I'll have you know)

Flavour: Cheese or chocolate (there seems to be a theme here)

Lithuania:

Meal: Kotletai (meat patties)

Flavour: Mushrooms or berries

Netherlands:

Meal: Meat and two veg.

Flavour: Fish, cheese or caramel

Poland:

Meal: Tripe soup

Flavour: Pickles or chocolate

Prussia:

Meal: Bratwurst (again)

Flavour: Beer or berries

Romania:

Meal: Black (blood) pudding

Flavour: Pork or chocolate

Romano:

Meal: Pizza

Flavour: Tomato or sweet fruit

Spain:

Meal: Paella

Flavour: Tomato or cinnanon

Sweden:

Meal: Smørrebrød

Flavour: Fish or berries

So, looking at my results I just made several big dishes that would please everyone, luckily no-one has any allergies I need to worry about at all. Makes it a lot easier.

Anyway, that was it for today, pretty boring day to be honest, Cheerio!


	5. 8th January

_**Captain's Log: Entry 5:**_

 _Friday 8th January 2016:_

THAT BLOODY FROG! Who the bloody hell does he think he is?!

Though, I did settle a score I've meant to settle for a few centuries now.

We were in the living room this evening, and I'd just moved my chair after yet another failed attempt to block out Austria's incessant whining and of course France immediately took the opportunity to insult me.

We exchanged insults for a while, slowly getting louder and gaining the attention of more and more people. I'd just delivered a particularly harsh insult and France, the git, responded with this:

"Well, at least I don't make a martyr of 19-year-old girls."

The room went silent.

You couldn't have cut the tension with a chainsaw.

I stood up and turned to the room as a whole.

"I want to make one thing Absolutely Clear!" I said, my voice barely above a whisper, "I was not the one to approve of the treatment of Jeanne. You, Francis, have been lying to yourself," I looked at him, "Remember your 2P? Your 'demon half' as we called it back then? He was the one to give the order to burn her. I wanted nothing to do with it. Nothing AT ALL!" I shouted, "I had the privilege of watching a illiterate peasant girl outwit and outmaneuver the greatest minds of the French Catholic Church. As she did so, I slowly understood how you could feel such a way for a mortal, and felt so sorry for you as she was paraded to her death."

I sighed, "After it was all over, I was the one to nudge the Church into re-investigating her trial, I was the one to allow her redemption and sainthood.

"That is the truth. And I hope you will remember that."

And with that I left the room, heading up to my suite, leaving the rest of them to stew.

I suppose I'll face the music in the morning.

Good night everyone.


	6. 8th January 9:00pm

_**Captain's Log: Entry 6:**_

 _Friday 8th January 2016 (Later):_

France just came and apologised, I think he saw just how much that meant to me, and how much of a dick he was.

We have agreements, me and him, lines that we don't cross.

On my side: The Blitz, Queen Bess, Bloody Mary, my drugs, my occasional schizophrenic fit (I'll explain tomorrow).

On his side: The Revolution, Vichy.

By mutual agreement: Colonies, Jeanne, and the fact that we actually kind of need each other.

We stop each other from going completely crazy. It's annoying, we hate each other, but one won't stay sane without the other.

Anyway, Good night, for real this time.


	7. 9th January

_**Captain's Log: Entry 7:**_

 _Saturday 9th January 2016 (Later):_

So, explanation. Explanation as to why I have schizophrenia.

Politics.

No kidding, that's basically it.

I started getting schizophrenia in the 60s, when my populace split itself into four groups; These groups were the Mods, the Punks, the Hippies, and what I have now dubbed the Traditionalists (the old people who disapproved of all the changes in the world). At first I thought it was just an amalgamation of having too many hallucinogenic drugs in my system, but when Thatcher's campaign hit and anarchy stepped up, I realised that it was connected to my people.

I'm pretty sure I'm the only nation to have this. Alfred would as well, if not for his states. His states represent the groups within his country, I get schizophrenia instead.

It's going to be very awkward if I get a fit while I'm here. Hopefully, there'll be no riots and no cause for me to have a fit.

Hopefully.

Anyway, that's depressing, you don't want to hear about that!

Oh god I've just realised:

Tomorrow's Sunday.

Sunday=I watch _Jeremy Kyle_

 _Jeremy Kyle_ =Show where working class people go on to sort out their family/relationship problems live on air for the entire nation to watch.

i.e. Show that I don't want everyone to know I watch.

Fuck.

Also:

Sunday=Christian Sabbath

I'm in a house where everyone but me is a Christian.

Christians+Sunday=Praying

Praying=Lots of Holy Power

Lots of Holy Power= I get my angel wings.

Double fuck.

I've just about been managing with the Catholic countries need to say Grace before every meal!

But I have to go be sociable at some point. Just my luck that Italy represents the Vatican so he can do the sermon right here in the building! Holy Power seeps through walls easily!

*sigh*

Well stay tuned for the clusterfuck that is bound to happen tomorrow!

Cheerio!


	8. 10th January

_**Captain's Log: Entry 8:**_

 _Sunday 10th January 2016:_

Ah, wings. They're great. Really. I made a point to stay in bed until the sermon started today, so I didn't destroy the chair when my wings popped out. It got to 10:00 and then they started, I went through the initial pain of the wings breaking through the skin and then got up.

I had to do a quick alteration to one of my shirts so my wings could fit through then went downstairs for breakfast.

It's awkward being the only non-religious nation in the EU. I had to skirt around the sermon and sit down for breakfast by myself. I ended up sat on a stool in the near centre of the table surrounded by discarded remnants of breakfast. I sighed and decided to tidy up for everyone. I finished my breakfast and did so, using my magic to make sure nothing fell because it's awkward to bend down with wings. I washed up by hand simply because I could.

It took about an hour before anyone decided to come in, and the first person was, just my luck, Prussia.

"Was der-?!" he exclaimed as he came in.

"Good morning to you too Gilbert," I said sarcastically, calling over my shoulder.

He walked to look at me, "Where did these come from?!"

"Holy Power," I answered simply, "There's a lot of it here today. I might go for a fly later."

He looked at me, then looked at my wings. He moved out of my field of vision, but the footsteps stopped directly behind me.

I started to get slightly scared.

"Gilbert, what are you doing back there?" I asked, trying not to make my voice shake.

He didn't answer, and the next thing I knew, I was desperately trying not to collapse.

The damn Kraut was stroking my wings! And he was so sinful it was unbelievably pleasurable!

"Hey, Limey, your wings are turning grey..." he said, cautiously.

"STOP TOUCHING THEM, YOU TWIT!" I said, using my wings to push him away. I turned around and sat on the ground, trying to get my breath back. "Never, in all the time I have had these, had anyone been so full of sin, my wings have started to turn grey. Go get Italy and confess your sins to him, you sinful, sinful bastard."

He looked at me strangely, "So are you an angel or what?"

I looked at him, "Well technically I'm a demon because I work for Lucifer, but you'd probably call me a tainted or fallen angel," I explained.

He nodded, "So, is that why you're not religious?"

"What do you think?!" I asked him sarcastically.

"Fair point. So, I should go take confession?"

I nodded, "Especially you're not actually going to change your ways. Anymore sin in you then I'll be forced to drag you down to hell by your ear," I bluffed.

He grimaced and nodded before leaving the room. That was probably a little bit meaner than necessary but whatever. I'm a demon I don't listen to anyone but me and my superiors (I have only two, I'm lucky).

I finished washing up and headed into the living room to watch _Jeremy Kyle._ The room was so full of Holy Power I was nearly sick! I steadied my self and commandeered the television, saying a mental 'Fuck it' before turning on ITV.

Today's was pretty shit to be honest. It was a relationship week and these people were absolutely stupid.

By the end of the program I didn't even realise but the entire rest of the house were watching with me.

"Oh, hello everyone," I said awkwardly as I turned the TV off. They just looked at me.

"Angelo..." said Italy with a smile.

"Angelo cecidit," I answered, replying to him in Latin, the Holy tongue. He gasped and left the room, dragging Romano out with him. I sighed as they left.

"I'm a fallen angel, these are real," I spread my wings like Castiel in Supernatural "And you can call me Mullin if you want, that being my name within the Church."

No-one reacted, that is apart from Prussia who was dying of laughter in the corner, I left the room, smacking Prussia around the head as I went.

After going for a quick fly to clear my head I shook myself off and started to brew a simple potion that worked like dye but lasted until the maker cast the spell to nullify it. I'm going to put it in France's conditioner and enjoy myself at some point.

But that won't happen yet, i'm going to leave it a month and lead everyone into a false sense of security before doing that.

Anyway, Cheerio!


	9. 11th January

_**Captain's Log: Entry 9:**_

 _Monday 11th January 2016:_

All the nightmares came today, bringing Changes and Sorrow. The Prettiest Star had his Golden Years and went out with a bang, as he always did.

RIP David Bowie, Ziggy Stardust, the Thin White Duke. May you join the greats and play guitar for eternity.


	10. 12th January

_**Captain's Log: Entry 10:**_

 _Tuesday 12th January 2016:_

Okay, I'm better now...Well...I'm better enough to venture out the confines of my room and actually eat something.

So, I did my mourning yesterday so today I paid tribute to the greatness of David Bowie by...Well...by cosplaying him I suppose...

I started with my hair; I lengthened it slightly then dyed it the orange-y-red colour that he had in the early 70s. I back-combed it to make it fluffy and then moved on to my face. I used a drop of belladonna from my potions kit to dilute the pupil in my left eye like his was. I then put a thin line of eye-liner on my top eyelid. That was the face done.

My wardrobe was slightly harder, I had very little choice on what I could wear so in the end I settled for black stiletto boots (don't ask), black skinny jeans and a kimono-style shirt that Japan had bought me for Christmas. I re-acquainted myself with the art of walking in heels then went down for breakfast.

I walked in the dining room as usual but as I came in a sort of stunned silence came over the room...Well that is until Paddy wolf-whistled, cheeky sod.

I played along and blew him a kiss as I sat down opposite him next to Francis and Gilbert.

Gilbert recovered first.

"You know, when you're dressed like that you look more like a girl than China," he said. I nearly spit out my tea.

I laughed, "That's kind of the point, androgynous sexuality," I said before taking a bite of toast.

What I didn't expect was for France to pull me into his lap, "Well, you're certainly sexual~" he purred. PURRED! Right in my ear!

I felt it well within my rights to stick my stiletto in his foot.

"Sacre Bleu!" he shouted, letting go of me. I slid back into my own seat to a round of applause from Paddy.

"Thank you, thank you."

"What did you even do?" asked Gilbert.

"Stiletto in the foot," I replied. He winced. I smiled and continued to eat, stealing some of Gil's ham to feed to Crumpet who appeared after a minute.

After finishing breakfast I headed to my room to check on the potion, as I did so I got a call from Lucifer.

"Hello, master," I said as I answered. Lucifer insisted every demon call him master, it was a pain but less so than if you didn't.

"Ah, Mullin, my faithful servant. I am in need of your services."

 _'Well duh why else would you be calling me when you could be messing with people's heads over in_ _America?_ ' I thought"And what services of mine do you require, master?" I asked, trying to keep the sarcastic tone out my voice.

"It seems I've come to a bit of bother with some crazy rabid fangirls..." he said trailing off at the end.

I sighed, "Not again...Why do you still not listen to me when I tell you to nullify that ritual?!" I said, exasperated with him beyond belief.

"Because a master does not listen to a servant! Especially a servant of a servant! Now get your butt here now!" he said and hung up. I sighed and then blinked to the location that he neglected to tell me but that I knew from the tracking charm I had placed on him the first time this happened.

After rescuing Lucifer I blinked back to the room and relaxed, putting my music on for the period until dinner.


	11. 13th January

_**Captain's Log: Entry 11:**_

 _Wednesday 13th January 2016:_

Well today was fun.

It was horribly rainy today and therefore there was a lot of mud outside.

And because we had so much rain we consequently had a lot of mud.

And mud+Ireland+sibling=mud wresting.

Mud wrestling is a lot of fun, believe it or not, though you do have to wear stuff that a)you don't mind getting absolutely caked in mud and b)that is tight fitting so it doesn't get torn off you.

The rules are simple.

1) Find a patch of extremely muddy ground

2) The two opponents stand facing each other 5 feet apart

3) On the count of three the wrestling commences

4) You are allowed to contact your opponent in any way that doesn't cause bleeding of any kind

5) Wrestling goes on for 10 minutes or until someone shouts 'Stop!' or their language's version of it. ('Stad' in Paddy's case)

We started with first to 5, but because we're both unbelievably stubborn, we just ended up wrestling for the entire day. Only taking a break to eat a sandwich before getting back into it.

I think we played about 50 or so rounds before heading in to clean up.

Apart from that not much happened today, though I think that Germany and Sweden have re-assessed me in terms of power and strength after seeing me hold my own for so long. They always forget that Rugby originated in my country.

Anyway, Cheerio!


	12. 14th January

_**Captain's Log: Entry 12:**_

 _Thursday 14th January 2016:_

WHY MUST THE UNIVERSE TORTURE ME THIS WAY?!

RIP Alan Rickman. The Half-Blood Prince whom's death was hard on us all.


	13. 15th January

_**Captain's Log: Entry 13:**_

 _Friday 15th January 2016:_

Ah, apologies for yesterday. It's just a bit unbelievable you know...

Anyway, yesterday morning I was exploring the house. I felt it necessary to know the layout of the house including where everyone's rooms were.

The house is a 4-storey, square-based building that is in the centre of half an acre of land.

The ground floor is where the three communal areas are, along with Greece' and Cyprus' rooms.

The first floor houses the Mediterranean countries, these being the Italies (who share a set of rooms) Spain, Austria and Hungary (Who also share a set of rooms), Bulgaria and Romania

The second floor houses France, Belgium, Netherlands, Germany and Prussia (who share a set of rooms) and Poland

And finally the top floor houses Paddy, myself, Denmark, Sweden and Finland (who share a set of rooms and can get amazingly loud) and finally the three Baltics (who share a set of rooms out of habit from the Soviet Union from what I understand.)

Having made a map of everywhere in my head I then proceeded to plant a few listening devices and cameras on a private channel. Just as a precautionary measure, I wouldn't use it against them necessarily, but you know... I like to be prepared.

Anyway, I finished setting that up today and just managed to catch the tail end of what could be very interesting, I'll relay it for you here,

"-but he has been a lot nicer..." said Romano, amazingly

"Fratello! That doesn't change what he is. You know as well as I that such a creature can manipulate people easily!" replied an amazingly harsh and serious Feliciano.

"Alright, I get it already. Just quit it, will you?! I don't like talking about it."

That's where they stop talking, but the strangest thing is, I seem to have found an ally in Romano while gaining an enemy in Veneciano, whereas for years they've both been scared out of their wits of me! It is interesting, and I shall have to keep a closer eye on the pair.

Anyway, I believe that's all for today, apart from Paddy practically shoving food down my throat at dinner today. Apparently it's not good to not eat for a day, especially when you "look like a fucking bird, in both senses of the word." Jeez. I eat more sausage and bacon than he does the arse, not my fault I'm a weedy little shit. Besides, it's not like I haven't gone days without food before.

Anyway, rant over. Cheerio, loves!


	14. 16th January

_**Captain's Log: Entry 14:**_

 _Saturday 16th January 2016:_

Well, Prussia's party starts in 10 minutes. We spent today preparing for it. America's coming over and is probably going to sleep on my chair 'til the morning.

Ah, someone's kicking my door, I'd better go.

Talk tomorrow, hopefully...

ALLONS-Y!


	15. 17th January

_**Captain's Log: Entry 15:**_

 _Sunday 17th January 2016:_

Ah, fuck my head...It still hurts. Why the fuck does it still hurt?!

Anyway, I've probably garnered some good blackmail on surveillance, I'll check that out tomorrow.

Yesterday was pretty fun, well, what I can remember of it. I think I got kissed by France, or was it America? Wait, was it Spain? No couldn't have been, could it? He's too obsessed with Romano... right?

Owww, all this thinking's making my headache worse...Wanker...Confusing me...

This morning I took the liberty to make everyone breakfast, been as I was the first one downstairs. The power of bacon is one without rival upon this Earth.

As Al Murray, a great comedian of my country, once said, Bacon is the proof on this Earth of God's existence. The fact that a man can drink himself into an undead state on a night and then be fully resurrected in the morning by the smell of bacon alone, is proof enough for me, even without all the angel nonsense that I have to go through.

No service today, by the way, apparently Italy was having trouble standing...That will be investigated soon enough along with the fact that France and Finland winced as they sat down this morning...Finland's injuries are almost certainly Sweden's fault but France's?

Oww again...Fuck migraines...

Anyway, I'd better try and sleep it off, 'night everyone.


	16. 18th January

_**Captain's Log: Entry 16:**_

 _Monday 18th January 2016:_

It was Spain that I kissed. Yes, that's right, I kissed. I was the instigator on that one, mind you it was midnight so I was probably pissed off my head.

Anyway, I found out today that Prussia on his birthday if very much like Alfred at Christmas, i.e. he wakes up ridiculously early to open his presents then insists everyone else get up at the same ungodly hour as him. Talking to Estonia afterwards, it seems he's not the only one to do this, but the sly bugger wouldn't tell me the other culprits! Bastard.

Sorry about that.

It seems as though the BTT and Paddy are conspiring against me because all four of them decided to wake me up by dog-piling on me.

 _Wonderful_. I _so_ wanted bruised ribs at 5:00 this morning. (If you can't hear the sarcasm in that then what the hell is wrong with you?)

After they'd all got off I got up and slapped Paddy and Gil around the back of the head.

"OW!" they exclaimed simultaneously, "What did you do that for?!"

I turned around to face them, "Paddy, it's because you're conspiring against me, Gil, it's a little British tradition called a Birthday Beating," I answered, "Now if you'll excuse me, there's a couple things I need to do." I said casually while shoving all four out the door.

After making sure they were actually gone I pulled on my dressing gown, grabbed Prussia's present and headed downstairs.

Getting downstairs some kind soul had made several pots of coffee, I need to give that person a pat on the back seriously.

Anyway, once everyone was downstairs and suitably awake Prussia started to open his presents with a little bit of input by Gilbird.

I was slightly nervous when he got to my present. The wrapping was pretty terrible but I hoped the gift inside wasn't as bad.

He opened it and looked at his present. I'd made him a black, hooded jacket with white fur edge. (Yes it's Izaya's jacket Durarara! fans). After seeing there was no label he grinned at me, "Haven't given up the tailoring, huh Limey?" he asked.

I shrugged, "Why should I? It's something to do and lord knows it's cheaper than buying clothes," I said in return, "Try it on, I used old measurements so it may not fit quite right."

He nodded and did so, standing up to make it sit properly, "It's a bit big," he said looking at me.

"Good job I brought pins huh?" I said with a smile, "I'll fix it after breakfast when I'm a little more awake, okay?"

"Sure sounds good," he said before taking it off and opening his other presents.

After breakfast I pinned Prussia's jacket and restitched it so it was the correct measurements, making a note of them for future reference.

After that was done I sat in my room with the cat, a cup of tea and the tapes from Prussia's birthday party.

I have all the blackmail I would ever need just from this one party!

I have Germany and Italy getting it on, no surprise there, but I can see Lovino glaring at his brother from the corner as he seems to be nursing some sort of strong drink... Me thinks Lovino is not all we've made him out to be...

There's Prussia drinking Mathias and Alfred under the table, no surprise.

France perving on Austria, on Lovino, on Belgium, on Spain, on Prussia, on Alfred, on Spain again... Basically on everyone that would let him.

Oh look there's me being a punk rebel. Haha, Oh Germany so deserved that kick.

Wait, is that, is that Spain and Netherlands getting it on?! Oh my days!

Erm what else? Oh wait there's Latvia somehow drinking _Prussia_ under the table! Oh this is the best set of footage yet!

Anyway, that's all for today, Cheerio!


	17. 19th January

_**Captain's Log: Entry 17:**_

 _Tuesday 19th January 2016:_

FOR FUCK'S SAKE CAN THE LEGENDS STOP BLOODY DYING THAT WOULD BE FANTASTIC THANK YOU!

*deep breathing*

Sorry about that. This is one of those times when tea on it's own isn't enough.

This morning at about 5:00 I woke up with this sinking feeling. My first instinct was to get my bass and play Desparado, which I did.

After god knows how long Paddy walks in and snaps me out of whatever haze I was in with a mug of hot tea. I smiled weakly at him and sipped at it.

"Better?" he asked.

"Slightly," I answered, looking up at him, "I think I need a fag."

He looked at me, "Right now?"

I nodded, "I'm impressed I've lasted this long if I'm honest..."

"Two conditions," he said, holding up two fingers, "1) Go outside, I'm not having you smoking inside and 2) You have to eat after, deal?"

"Deal," I said, taking the cigarette and lighter and pulling on my old Hell's Angel's jacket.

I think I've smoked 3 cigarettes since then... It's something like that... It's just hard to take in...

Bye.


	18. 20th January

_**Captain's Log: Entry 17:**_

 _Tuesday 19th January 2016:_

Ha Ha! Ho Ho! He he! Ha Ha!

Oh, everyone's been stunned into silence and it's glorious! Complete and utter silence!

So Paddy used a Yo Mama insult against me today, (weak as fuck but anyway), and dear, oblivious France said...

"But don't you have the same mother?"

Me and Paddy just looked at one another.

"They still have no clue?" he asked me with a raised eyebrow.

"No clue about what?" asked France, confused.

I turned to him, "I have no actual biological relationship to Paddy, or Dylan, Seamus, or Will," I said by way of explanation.

"What?"

"You heard right," said Paddy, "Britannia was only England's mother, the rest of us didn't have one."

"Who was your father?"

Arthur answered this one, "Germania for me, Celt for him and the others."

"So you're my half-brother?" asked France in amazement.

I nodded, "I'm related to most of Europe it's just Dad, Grandpa and Bror all disowned me, you're more right than you think with the whole 'Black Sheep of Europe' thing."

France just sat there.

Me and Paddy chuckled and Paddy sent me a glance 'Are we going to get the family tree?' I nodded and pointed to a bare patch of wall. He grinned and scurried off to get the monstrosity that is the world family tree, sort of simplified.

With this thing, the basic thing you need to know is that it works on colonisation and settlement, not immigration. So for example, because I colonised India, he is my 'son' but the amount of his citizens moving to my country doesn't change that I colonised and settled in him, not the other way round, got it? Good.

As you may have realised I have a lot of kids, but I also have a lot of brothers. I was raised by a grand total of four people, all of which got what they wanted, settled, gave me a few bits of language then promptly said, "Right, we're done here now you've got to fend for yourself."

And people wonder why I have trust issues.

Anyway, these four were, Grandpa Rome, Dad Germania, Bror Scandinavia and Archenemy France.

'Where's Britannia?' I hear you ask.

Well my answer is, she died in childbirth. Yeah, I know...I only remember her smile...

*cough*

So, Yeah from my family deduce who I'm related to.

Yep I'm the crossing point between the New and Old worlds. It's not fun, I'm traditional yet young.

*sigh*

Everyone else is as you know, it's just me that everyone says "Oh him and his brothers were all raised by Britannia!" No, no we weren't.

Anyway, everyone's currently staring in disbelief at the massive thing on the wall while Paddy kills himself laughing at their faces.

It's a great image. Truly is. I wish I could take a picture to show you.

Anyway, Cheerio!


	19. 22nd January

_**Captain's Log: Entry 20:**_

 _Friday 22nd January 2016:_

So apparently movie night is a thing...And tonight is France's night...

Yay! Cliched rom-coms! (note sarcasm)

And somehow Cameron found out and he's now forcing me to go...

Fuck.

So if I manage to survive you'll hear from me tomorrow...Good night...


	20. 24th January

_**Captain's Log: Entry 21:**_

 _Sunday 24th January 2016:_

Sorry about not posting last night, I'd just had a massive row with France and Paddy and wasn't in a fit state to much of anything except sleeping if I''m honest.

Anyway, I'm going to go play Assassin's Creed for a while, I hope I don't completely annoy everyone.

Cheerio.


	21. 24th January 9:15pm

_**Captain's Log: Entry 21:**_

 _Sunday 24th January 2016 (Night):_

Well I've garnered more strange looks by being myself here for a fortnight than I have throughout the entirety of the rest of my history... I'm not sure whether I'm enjoying it or not if I'm honest.

It was a good Assassin's Creed run though. Probably comes of being in a house with an ex-assassin.

Ah, who am I kidding, Romano couldn't assassinate someone if they insulted his precious tomato field.

Anyway, Crumpet has betrayed me. He's joined the Grecian army. I saw him conducting some sort of initiation at Siesta Central today. Bloody traitor.

My wings are getting in the way of EVERYTHING! I have bruises all over them from banging into door frames and tables, not to mention how rumpled my feathers are! I'm going to need someone nice to order them for me, maybe Hungary... I'll ask her next week, if I can get her when Austria isn't around.

Next week I'm cooking again... I have the strangest urge to cook proper, British fish and chips for them all but I feel like it would be flat-out rejected by everyone else. I'll pick nearer the time.

No news on the Romano case, the trail's gone cold on that one which is sort of annoying me but I'm sure I'll find out soon enough.

No progress on the case of Francis either. I'm certain it wasn't Prussia, Sweden or any of the other obvious tops in the house, but beyond that I have no clue. It might have been America, but that's absurd, right?

I'll think over it and get back to you once I have a little more concrete evidence.

Until then, Cheerio!


	22. 25th January

_**Captain's Log: Entry 22:**_

 _Monday 25th January 2016:_

France slept with _Spain_ of all people! I have the footage of them barreling into Spain's room snogging the pants off each other! I hope that was just one of Drunken, Horny France's one night stands...Otherwise that's my entire ship-web blown out the window.

So where was I? Erm...Oh yes, magical creatures.

There's so many Myths here!

Gryffins, Fairies, Centaurs, Leprechauns, Dwarves, Necken (german water spirits), Changlings, Hippocampi, Tree Goblins and all multitude of other things just hanging around in the woodland near the house! I'm amazed there's been no accidental deaths from some of the things that are in here but they all seem to be living fairly peacefully together.

It's a bloody miracle is what it is! It's amazing!

Though, the fairies want to come out of hibernation but I'm trying to persuade them otherwise. The frosts are coming and I don't want their wings to freeze up like mine did last year. It's horrible to not be able to fly when you've got wings.

So working on that took a while, by the time I was done it had been dark for over an hour! I had to use my charmspeak to ask a fairly chipper Will o' the Wisp to lead me out before I got attacked.

I hope I haven't attracted anything to the house... I'm not equipped to deal with that sort of thing yet...

I suppose I'll find out tomorrow, Good Night.


	23. 26th January

_**Captain's Log: Entry 23:**_

 _Tuesday 26th January 2016:_

Thankfully nothing made it to the house last night, at least, there's no evidence of anything...yet...

But today was, as Prussia put it, awesome.

So this morning I was eating my breakfast as usual, having a bit of a chinwag with Finland about baking when there resounded a large SLAM!

"SOUND TRUMPETS! AND LET OUR BLOODY COLOURS WAVE!" quoted Prussia, fully decked-out in his Teutonic knight outfit.

I jumped straight to my feet and strode over the table (luckily most people had yet to get up) towards him, "AND EITHER VICTORY, OR ELSE A GRAVE!" I responded before jumping down next to him.

"Did you bring your stuff?" he asked me when I'd straightened up.

I grinned and looked him straight in the eye, "Do you even need to ask? Give me half an hour." I ran upstairs leaving Prussia to deal with whatever shitstorm came his way.

When I got to my room, I took out a really old chest from my closet which had the words 'Property of the British Empire SHUT UP I'M GETTING THERE!' scratched on the lid with a random piece of scrap metal someone shot at The Ghost-Ship Bess at some point in the 17th century. I opened it and took out the entire Captain's outfit out and put it on. After pulling on the last boot I proceeded to put in the weapons. Dagger in the boot, authentic pistols (actually the same ones just with a ton of strengthening charms so they don't blow into a million pieces when I shoot them), a cutlass and to finish the look, a musket.

I smirked my pirate smirk that used to make Spain wet his breeches and headed down to the courtyard where Prussia was waiting.

"So, what are we doing today, General?" I asked him, as I drew up in front of him.

"I thought we'd just improvise and see how it goes, Captain," he answered, smirk plastered on his face.

I nodded and we moved over to a field at a side of the house with no windows we could easily break with a misplaced shot (no we don't use real bullets, but paintballs can do just as much damage to a window, even if it's only fake blood) and stood facing each other.

Germany and France were standing on the roof of the house looking down at us, I made it so that the sound of our voices would travel to the roof for them to hear, but otherwise we paid them no mind as I commenced the battle both of tongue and of sword.

"General! Doth thine rampallian self not acknowledge that the mere sight of thou knotty-pated face is enough to anger me? Avast, rogue, before I strike a blow from which thou shalt not recover!" I said, aiming my musket at his head.

Prussia grinned, "Ah Captain! As always thine words are enough such fiends as to persuade mine sword to lavish you with such treasures of bloodshed as only true seamen shalt see. And as thine words speak an infinite amount of nothing I shalt not hesitate in ridding the world of an evil so foul that even demons fear to speak it's name, such is the legend of thine, Captain Kirkland. Such a shame thine legend can only do so much when I have known you so."

"Thine knows we have spoken and thou shalt not speak of such things in the presence of others, especially delicate ladies vying for our favour," I smirked as I heard a distinctive huff from above me. Prussia had to take a moment to swallow his laughter before carrying on.

"Whence did thine turn so cold in thine affections towards me? But no matter, for we have postponed the inevitable for yet too long!"

"Indeed we have, thou pestilent corrugation of vapours! Knave, select thine weapon!"

"I so celebrate mine longsword! Sharpened to the point of a needle on all edges!" he said, drawing said sword, "And thine weapon, Powder Monkey?"

"I so draw mine Cutlass, feared throughout the New World from Port Royal to Panama! Any words of farewell you wish to present thine lady with before thou meets thine fatal end.

Prussia smirked and looked up to the roof when Germany was watching. He got down on one knee and recited upwards, "My heavenly jewel! My preserving sweet! Thou shalt not worry, for I shalt soon have thou back in my arms and I in thine, and we shalt live forever in peace as I rid the world of the evil that resides within this monstrous creature!"

I fought not to laugh as Germany went bright red and proceeded to excuse himself from the proceedings. I let out an in character laugh.

"Ha ha! Thine words hast frightened thine damsel! Thou shalt not know another, not on this night!"

"I challenge thee to handle thine own maid better!" Said he.

I let a smirk don my features and faced up to France, who had taken the 'Damsel on the Balcony' position looking down at us. I created with my magic a rigging-like trailing vine and climbed fairly quickly up to him. After modifying the spell to be two-way so Prussia could hear what was going on, I began to speak, "My love for thee is such that neither wit nor reason can hide the passion I hold for thou. Hark my words, and never doubt their truth and honesty for so long as I hold breath. Know, my lady, that I shall return to you as soon as this ruffian has been dealt with!" I finished, taking France's hand and kissing it.

I looked up into his face and saw that I had succeeded in making him blush pink. I chuckled as I climbed gracefully back down the vines to the duelling field.

After exchanging a few more insults Prussia and I launched into battle, which eventually ended with me chopping Prussia's head off. I did a small victory speech on to France before scooping him up bridal style and heading into the house, leaving Prussia to re-attach his head.

We sat down for dinner in our costumes minus weapons and it appears that people want us to do it again, but for an audience this time. We agreed but said that we'd do it next week. It takes quite a bit out of you.

My don't think I have a thing for France, though that blush made me happier than it probably should have... Oh well, it's Valentine's Day soon anyway, I'll work it out by then.

Cheerio!


	24. 27th January

_**Captain's Log: Entry 24:**_

 _Wednesday 27th January 2016:_

Holocaust Memorial Day, a day of remembrance for all around the globe as a time to be thankful there's no crazy dictators running around on the earth anymore.

Also known in hell as 'The Day We Get To Bitch-Slap Hitler'

Yep. That's a thing.

I am always always the second in line, no matter what. I am the one who most deserves to slap him after all.

Afterwards, of course there was a sermon in the house, led by Italy and Germany with Prussia pitching in occasionally.

After the prayer, I stood up and made my way to the front.

"I know you may not want to hear from me, but if I may, I'd like to say my own prayer," I said to Italy. He looked at me and nodded, moving to let me address everyone.

"Dear Lord and Father,

On this the day of remembrance for atrocities committed due to discrimination, I pray that no man, woman or child that has committed any vile acts of the kind of which the Nazis have become famous ever sets foot outside of the lowest pit of hell where they will rot and burn for all eternity,

Amen."

"Amen," came the collective voice of the congregation. I nodded to Italy and re-took my seat at the back of the room.

After the sermon there was a solemn and brooding air to the house that lasted for the entire day.

Goodnight.


	25. 28th January

_**Captain's Log: Entry 25:**_

 _Thursday 28th January 2016:_

I got my hands on a chip pan! Everyone had authentic British Fish, Chips and Mushy Peas for dinner! When I put it in front of everyone I got a lot of turned up noses. But after a little bit of pushing I got them all to try it. And they liked it! I'm ridiculously pleased, like seriously I'm sitting here with this insane grin plastered on my face.

So, yes, the rest of the day...

One word.

Boring!

Seriously, literally nothing happened. No interesting snippets of gossip or funny stories. I'm slightly nervous, I'm expecting something to happen, and I'm probably not going to like it when it does.

Oh well, I'll fill space with explaining yesterday.

So around 10 years ago, Prussia came to me complaining about there being no good battles whatsoever anymore. So I, naturally, drew my cutlass and held it so the point was at his throat.

When he proceeded to only grin and draw his own sword in response, we had a sparring match, me vs him. After that, as we were recovering, we decided to try and make something out of it, so it became us re-enacting battles between foes with the words being as accurate as we could make them, and we did these fights at various medieval fairs around our countries.

What happened yesterday was effectively, just us acting. That includes everything with our 'damsels'. Kind of obvious, been as I would be seriously questioning my sanity if I did that to France if I wasn't in character. Even if I had been dared to do so.

Well, there's your explanation, Cheerio!


	26. 29th January

_**Captain's Log: Entry 26:**_

 _Friday 29th January 2016:_

Fuck, ow, shit, my chest, my leg.

Fucking storm. Giving me cramp.

I shouldn't complain, Paddy has it worse, he's got a massive headache and stayed in bed most of today.

Apart from having pains that medicine can't cure, I've been fine, if tired.

I spent most of the day sleeping if I'm honest, only waking up when Spain came to shove some food down my throat. I don't understand why I'm so tired. maybe in the morning Paddy can shed some light on the subject.

Anyway, *yawn* Good night everyone.


	27. 30th January

_**Captain's Log: Entry 27:**_

 _Saturday 30th January 2016:_

So, apparently, I'm so sleepy because of all the Holy Power in the house. Because it's tainted it's connecting to mine and soothing it, making it want to sleep and therefore taking me with it. Bugger. I really wanted to spend this year awake. I have stuff to do!

I spent all today downstairs, doing embroidery and listening to various conversations.

Austria's an incessant nag. I knew that. But what I didn't realise was he nagged Germany and Germany did what he asked! I suppose I shouldn't be too surprised, but still, bit of a shock.

Also, I think Prussia knows about the Germany and Italy thing as well. He looks like he's trying to think of a way to end it but doesn't know how to do it.

Hungary agreed to groom my wings as long as I take her washing up duty one day. I'm doing dishes on Monday as well now, which is fine, I don't mind that.

No further news on Romano, though I haven't seen much of him lately.

Germany's getting a lot of stick for the migrant crisis, it's horrible to watch. He's just gone into a shell and nothing's coming out at all. Horrible.

Anyway, that's all from me, good night.


	28. 31st January

_**Captain's Log: Entry 28:**_

 _Sunday 31st January 2016:_

I spent this afternoon crying, yet again I haven't eaten any dinner...

RIP Sir Terry Wogan, a great and charitable man who's life was long and prosperous.


	29. 1st February

_**Captain's Log: Entry 29:**_

 _Monday 1st February 2016:_

Ow, earache and grief, not a good combination...

My wings have taken to staying out constantly now, too much effort to keep them inside when so much is happening in my country.

Hungary was very nice yesterday, she straightened out my wings very nicely and I almost fell asleep under her ministrations. They were more pleasurable than I was expecting, but hey, I'm not going to complain.

Paddy offered to tidy them if they get tangled again, though I'm reluctant to ask him, maybe Latvia or Lithuania will, I don't know, we'll see.

France is being surprisingly sweet to me, he offered to bring me a cup of tea today. I said yes, not wanting to get up but expecting to have to anyway because he will have tampered with it; But when he brought it back, I found it was perfectly okay, nothing wrong with it at all. I'm very intrigued.

I don't know whether to outright ask Spain what's going on or just wait for events to unfold by themselves and hope the answer reveals itself.

Hmm, do work and get my answer quicker or possibly not at all, or leave it and get the answer at some point but definitely...

This requires more thought, I'll decide tomorrow.

Cheerio!


	30. 3rd February

_**Captain's Log: Entry 30:**_

 _Tuesday 3rd February 2016:_

I am so sorry everyone! My internet connection went down yesterday, as the Brits will most likely already have heard, so I can only apologise.

And if that wasn't enough, me and Paddy nearly ran out of tea! It was a near disaster! Paddy went out shopping immediately after breakfast this morning and bought two catering bags of teabags.

Yes the situation is that serious! DON'T YOU DARE LAUGH!

Anyway, I received a letter today.

An actual handwritten letter.

Curious already, no? Well, it sat on my plate as I went down to breakfast. I picked it up and put it in my pocket, resolving to look at it later.

When I did look at it, I didn't open it straight away, I spent a moment looking at the envelope. I couldn't tell anything from the handwriting but it was sprayed with a pleasant cologne, one that was familiar but that I couldn't quite put my finger on.

I flipped the letter over, there was a wax seal on the back, the motif being that of a pair of closed lips.

To others that may seem a minor detail, but I knew what this was immediately when I saw it.

It was a love letter.

I opened it slowly, being careful to keep the seal intact as I carefully removed it.

I read it quietly, a blush upon my face.

 _Mon petit lapin,_

 _I know we have never had the best of relations, but I would like to try and cross the bridge that separates us as rivals and to join as lovers under the breath of the twilight sky._

 _We know so much about each other, mon cheri! More, I believe, than any other person, nation or indeed creature in the world. Indeed, I feel I know you as well as I know myself._

 _I know you're tying to stop hiding from everyone else, mon coeur, but you need to stop hiding from yourself._

 _I have loved you from the moment I met you, did you know that? I just didn't know it until I thought it was too late, but now, I am asking your permission for courtship._

 _If you accept and give your permission, please send me one of your letters which I treasure so fiercely._

 _I await your answer feverishly._

 _With my purest of loves,_

 _Francis._

As you can imagine, I was blushing fairly heavily by the end of the thing.

I didn't know how to respond, I've had today to think on it and I still haven't decided, I'm going to sleep on it and see if things become any clearer in the morning.

Goodnight.


	31. 4th February

_**Captain's Log: Entry 31:**_

 _Thursday 4th February 2016:_

So I replied... For some reason...New start I guess, and he is right, we know each other better than any other nation.

So my letter was on my best writing paper, in my best handwriting, and with my old Tudor Rose seal on the envelope.

It said this:

 _Francis,_

 _I don't know what you are playing at, and I don't know why I like the idea of it so much._

 _I give you my permission for a courtship; It was unnecessary, though it's very welcome, and I would like to extend it to be a fairly modern courtship, no need to take ages over everything, though I would like to go steady._

 _I ask one thing of you though:_

 _I've responded, unexpectedly for the both of us. So I implore of you, if it was a joke, tell me as soon as you finish reading this so we can forget this happened and both go on hating each others guts as usual._

 _You know my fears, you know why I hid in the first place. Please, please, please don't play on them, please don't break me when my wall is down, please. I want to have enjoyed this year._

 _With tentative affection,_

 _Arthur._

 _..._

 _..._

Good night.


	32. 5th February

_**Captain's Log: Entry 32:**_

 _Friday 5th February 2016:_

It was a joke, though not from Francis, from Prussia, apparently. He got slapped, twice.

And yes, there's a Boogie Wonderland in heaven now...RIP Maurice White.

*sigh* So much death, so little time to eat through all the grieving...

Anyway, good night.


	33. 6th February

_**Captain's Log: Entry 33:**_

 _Saturday 6th February 2016:_

I am so done right now you have no idea.

Death, storms, death, storms, praying, storms, death, praying, storms, death, praying.

I feel so wet, sad, sentimental, and fucking holy that all I can do is sleep, eat, walk around and play my bass 'til my fingers bleed.

It's fucking ridiculous man.

And no one likes me enough to want to help me, or is bloody allowed to. Fucking Italy, taking away both of my possible allies in this god forsaken place.

Yes I said both, Germany's starting to like me too.

Well, I say starting to, he seems to be attracted to me, lord knows why, maybe he's attracted to danger.

Anywhovian, talk tomorrow, Cheerio!


	34. 8th February

_**Captain's Log: Entry 34:**_

 _Monday 8th February 2016:_

I'm so sorry...I've had the most horrible last few days...

My head's tearing itself apart, I'm getting cramps everywhere, and the amount of grief and pain that's rolling through my heart is so hard to bear that this is the only time I've been anywhere sane enough to type...

I've just come out of a complete state of music fix, I couldn't hear anything at all, I took a travelling jukebox back through time to nearly every single era.

I've had a few fits of hallucinations, nothing major, just a couple of animals and fires but Francis managed to pull me from the wreckage that is my mind, he made me Witch's Tea to calm me down, a massive saucepan, which helps but I still can't quite think straight...

Look at me, 'can't', I've been listening to so many songs my accent's gone British-American singer...

Anyway, I'll see you on the other side of this I guess...

Bye...


	35. 9th February

_**Captain's Log: Entry 35:**_

 _Tuesday 9th February 2016:_

 _ **Hey! Hi! The name's Sid. Sid Vicious, and I'll be taking over this body for a while.**_

 _ **Artie's mind's gone into hell to try and fix the damage, but me and him can't be in the same vessel at once, so I'm here.**_

 _ **Thought you might want an update.**_

 _ **So Artie's mind went into overdrive again and broke itself down, so he;s in hell to fix it. He should be back tomorrow, don't you fret.**_

 _ **Artie's body's not doing to well either, I patched up as well as I could, getting the help of some of the pixies in the Creature Forest. Their healers really know what they're doing.**_

 _ **Tomorrow, Artie'll be back to his normal, oddball self.**_

 _ **But today, well today I had a lot of fun.**_

 _ **I had a proper sword-to-axe fight with Spain for the first time in ages! And it was amazing.**_

 ** _Anyway, ta-ta for now!_**


	36. 10th February

_**Captain's Log: Entry 36:**_

 _Wednesday 10th February 2016:_

Ah, hello, yes I'm back, finally.

Today was interesting, apparently before relinquishing hold back over to me, Sid set a good few general pranks around the house.

Greece is hilarious when pranked, he was victim to the old bucket on the door frame trick, and he had pretty much no reaction! He just slowly picked up the bucket from off his head and shook himself like a dog, then he carried on his merry way.

To be fair I'll probably pay for that later, along with the rest of them, but until then, I'm enjoying it.

So, something else happened today.

It was just after lunch and I was about to go take the Daily Siesta, when my surveillance system beeped.

I darted over and saw that it was coming from the kitchen camera.

It was Germany and Italy again, on their own and Germany looked like he was trying desperately to stand up for himself but it wasn't working and Italy was tearing complete and utter strips out of him. I grabbed my tea cup and headed straight down to the kitchen.

When I got there Italy had put his mask back on and was prancing out of the kitchen, he waved at me as he passed me.

"Ciao, Inglaterra!" he said, sweetly. I marvelled at how good his mask was, even knowing what I know, I was still nearly fooled.

"Hello, Italy," I said moving past him to get to the kitchen.

"I wouldn't go in there! There's an awful smell in there," he said. That sneaky little shit.

"Is that so? Well I'll come back after Siesta, thank you for the warning," I said, before walking as though I was heading back to my room. I waited until he was gone then went into the room, just as Germany was coming out.

His eyes were slightly red as I pushed him back into the kitchen, "Okay, what's happened that's so bad it made you cry?" I asked, feigning innocence.

"I don't know what you mean," he stammered.

"Oh cut the crap," I said, "Your eyes are slightly red and slightly puffy, you've obviously been crying, so what the hell's going on?"

Germany shifted nervously, poor sod didn't know what to think.

I sighed heavily, "Look, I can tell something's wrong, you don't have to tell me now, just know if something is happening, then I won't judge you whatever it is."

He nodded and took a deep breath, "I need to tell someone, but I'd rather do it somewhere more private."

I smiled, Progress! "Very well," I said, "Just let me get a snack and we can head up stairs and continue this in my rooms." Ludwig nodded shakily. So I picked up a pack of chocolate biscuits and lead the way back upstairs.

We sat down in opposing armchairs, the plate of biscuits between us.

"So, what is it?" I said, once he was comfortable.

He took a deep breath and told me how Italy had been abusing him since the Second World War and how he couldn't do anything to break away from him. He told me how if he tried to get away he got punished and how his self-esteem was crippled.

I listened in silence, appalled by what I was hearing, at the end of it I looked at him with sympathy, "Does anyone else know?" I asked.

He shook his head silently.

"Well then the first thing to do would be to tell Prussia, I'll be there if you want me to be, but you need to tell him," I said, putting a hand on his shoulder, "If you can't trust your own brother, then who can you trust?"

Germany nodded and sat up straighter, "Thank you, Arthur. This really helped."

I nodded, "Words are powerful things, Ludwig, they can create and destroy in a heartbeat," I said, "would you like to stay, or have you got things you'd rather be doing?"

"I should be getting to work, the agenda for tomorrow's meeting still isn't solidified."

I smacked my forehead, "Of course! There's a meeting tomorrow! How could I be so forgetful?" I wondered aloud. Germany grunted and left, leaving me in silence.

So, interesting turn of events, wouldn't you think?

Anyhow, Cheerio!


	37. 11th February

**_Captain's Log 2016: Entry 37:_**

 _Thursday 11th February 2016:_

World meetings are exhausting; I'm tired enough without having to try and summon up energy to fight with everyone.

They're all just inconsiderate bastards.

Yes, I'm a bit pissed off, thanks for asking.

My wings decided they wanted to be out today, so I had to deal with wings.

Also, Alfred, he may not seem it but he is very, very religious, so therefore, his touch hurts my wings.

So what do you think he decided to do for the entire meeting?

That's right, he stroked my wings. The complete and utter bastard.

I had to ask Prussia to stroke all the burn trails Alfred left to heal them over.

Alright, yes I fell asleep in his lap when he did it, so what?

And before you ask, of course I woke up with a moustache drawn on my face. It's Prussia, what did you expect?

Here is where I sign off, big day tomorrow. Good night.


	38. 12th February

**_Captain's Log 2016: Entry 38:_**

 _Friday 12th February 2016:_

STEP UP STEP UP AND WITNESS!

The History Of Europe

AS TOLD IN WEEKLY INSTALLMENTS OF BATTLES FROM THE PAST!

BROUGHT TO YOU BY:

The Glorious Duo! Prussia and England!

WEEK 1:

476: The Fall of Rome

A lot of people came to watch me and Prussia re-enact Rome's final battle, though been as it was with himself we had to make it more interesting by I dressing up as one half and Prussia dressing up as the other. Our fight was as much about the speeches as it was about the actual physical conflict, as the conflict was to an extent about religious differences.

After a bit of verbal sparring, me and Prussia went at it. It was hard to stage, having the same fighting style lose against itself, but eventually, I got cut in the stomach and both my and Prussia's bodies dissolved into ash, which blew away as the applause descended from the crowd.

We re-formed after a while and bowed, accepting the applause before everyone headed back inside.

It was fun, being on the stage again, even if it wasn't my usual.

But no matter.

Tomorrow I hope Germany will talk to Prussia about the Italy issue, I can only hope he won't do anything stupid.

Anyway, cheerio!


	39. 13th February

**_Captain's Log 2016: Entry 39:_**

 _Saturday 13th February 2016:_

So I had to restrain Prussia before he did something exceedingly stupid like attack Italy. No surprise there.

On another note, Valentine's Day tomorrow.

Apparently we're watching Romeo and Juliet tomorrow night, I did a small fist bump when I heard that.

My favourite play, I can recite all of it, especially since I've played all the parts.

Yes, including Juliet, no women on stage until the 19th century.

So, I'm looking forward to tomorrow.

Cheerio!


	40. 15th February

**_Captain's Log 2016: Entry 40:_**

 _Monday 15th February 2016:_

Well, I now have a boyfriend... That's where I was last night, Prussia took me out on a date...

Yep. Prussia.

I don't mind, he's a nice guy, I had a really nice time.

We had dinner then went back to watch Romeo and Juliet with everyone.

The seats had all turned into love seats and sofas, the couples on the love seats and others on the sofas.

There were quite a few pairings:

Me and Prussia

Sweden and Finland

Spain and Netherlands (that wasn't just a single occurrence apparently)

All three Baltics (Latvia seems to top on that one, who would have guessed?)

Italy and Germany (with an uncomfortable looking Germany, I must add)

France and Romano (So this was Roma's mystery crush!)

Everyone else was in their various friendship groups, though Paddy was glaring at Gil the whole time.

I hope I don't have to do damage control...


	41. 16th February

**_Captain's Log 2016: Entry 41:_**

 _Tuesday 16th February 2016:_

Gil is such a gentleman, though I did have to remind Paddy I can kick his butt myself if needs be.

Germany seems to be leaning more towards Denmark, I suppose he'll need to have someone to be dependent on when he finally ditches Italy. I'm glad for him, and he'll have a good army behind him when he eventually does decide to act.

I've been getting into my song-writing again. It's fun, I took what''s happening with Germany, put a twist on it, and wrote a nice ballad.

Lyrics at the moment are shaky but it's a four-chord, so...

With the Baltics, what I've learnt is that they're all subs, so they take it in turns to dom one another. Which is fair enough, whatever works, works.

What else is there...?

Oh! Yesterday I completely forgot about what would have been Roald Dahl's 100th Birthday!

So today, what I did, was dress up in Willy Wonka's bright purple suit and go around reciting various poems as I did stuff.

Tomorrow I have a job which some sort of ritual people are doing somewhere. I don't even know tops or tails of it, all I know is I've got to make sure they don't kill themselves doing whatever it is.

So talk to you then!

Cheerio!


	42. 17th February

**_Captain's Log 2016: Entry 42:_**

 _Wednesday 18th February 2016:_

WHAT SORT OF IDIOTS WOULD SUMMON A LEVEL 8 NOBLE CAMBION?!

Oh yeah, cultists, I forgot.

But still, like, why in the heck does that ritual even bloody exist?

*sigh*

I nullified it, then sent the Cambion back home before it could do lasting damage, other than eating all their souls of course.

Now, other than that, I have acquired a new cat.

There seems to be a system in Greece's Army of recruitment and discharge. And those cats who get honourably discharged are put into the adoption system.

One of these cats, a Siamese, today came and sat on my lap during Siesta Time, surprising me but I started stroking it.

The cat was small, but had several scars underneath it's shiny fur.

Now I'm not the biggest Siamese fan but she seemed nice, so now I have the newly named Mussy hanging around with me.

She likes to lie across my shoulders, I don't mind, she's not exactly heavy. At least not compared to Crumpet.

Apparently, I get to choose this Friday's movie.

I really don't know what to pick.

Well I have two days to choose one.

I might choose Kinky Boots just cause.

Ah well, the battle's still a surprise for everyone, including you lot. No sneak peeks!

Cheerio!


	43. 18th February

**_Captain's Log 2016: Entry 43:_**

 _Thursday 18th February 2016:_

Well today was fun.

We all had the pleasure of watching Pope Francis (The actual Pope, not France dressed up) question Donald Trump on his Christianity.

And then when Trump responded, he argued against something that wasn't actually said. He really needs to go and take his English Language GCSE again so he can learn how to properly debate.

He's just an idiot I think most can agree.

My boss is shouting at me to work harder in trying to gain favour with the other nations.

Well, excuse me, you pig-buggering freak it not exactly easy to just bypass centuries of hatred, you know?!

*sigh*

Well, I'm off to bed, tomorrow will be fun.

Cheerio!


	44. 20th February

**_Captain's Log 2016: Entry 44:_**

 _Saturday 20th February 2016:_

I'm very sorry everyone. It's been a while since a boss has bordered on abusive towards me...

I spent last night cuddled up with Gilbert... I couldn't think straight enough to really do anything else...

But anywhovian! That's behind us, this week's battle's poster:

STEP UP STEP UP AND WITNESS!

The History of Europe

AS TOLD IN WEEKLY INSTALLMENTS OF BATTLES FROM THE PAST!

BROUGHT TO YOU BY:

The Glorious Duo! England and Prussia!

WEEK 2:

2nd October 939: The Battle of Andernach

To be fair, Andernach isn't the biggest of battles, but until we get to the Hundred Years War, nothing major really happens, so we decided to go for something central that one of us was involved in. And Andernach was pretty easy, and fairly entertaining.

I chose Kinky Boots for everyone to watch, though I didn't end up watching it myself. Apparently, everyone liked it.

I did get teased about the fact it's about drag, but meh, it's not like they're ignorant of my tendencies.


	45. 21st February

**_Captain's Log 2016: Entry 45:_**

 _Sunday 21st February 2016:_

I...am now a cat...

Well, a neko, but the end result is the same.

i.e. people petting me, and people (*coughFranciscough*) pulling my tail.

Luci apparently thought it'd be funny for me to be a neko for a week. So here we are!

I spent most of the day asleep with Gilbert petting me. Though Greece asked me to sleep with him at Siesta today. I said yes but Gilbert insisted on staying close by just in case.

I didn't mind, I just wanted to sleep, and Greece is warm. I can understand why all cats like him now.

Though apparently a side effect of the cat thing is I have Beast Speak now... So I know what all the pets are saying.

Gilbird's really funny. He's witty and sarcastic, but narcissistic like his owner.

Hanatamago is just a hyper, bouncing ball of joy.

Crumpet is sweet and mothering, like I didn't already know that, but she and Mussy get along really well.

Pookie is sweet, but he seems almost traumatised by the things he's seen his owner do... Which is bad and leads to intense grooming sessions with the rest of the cats in the house.

Pierre is just flirtatious and annoying.

Also the Grecian Army has barracks! They're in Greece's rooms and the more important the cat the closer they sleep to Greece. I found it quite interesting.

What else happened today? Oh yeah! Gilbert offered to take me to see Deadpool!

I said yes, of course! Duh!

In return I said he could come with me when I go see Muse in April.

He said yes and just pet me more.

I'm so lucky to have a boyfriend like him, he's so nice to me.

Anyway, I think that's it...

Yep, Cheerio!


	46. 22nd February

**_Captain's Log 2016: Entry 46:_**

 _Monday 22nd February 2016:_

Sleepy...

Yes, I'm spending a lot of time sleeping, though I suppose it could be worse.

I've just realised it's Fashion Weekend this weekend.

I'll just have to try and rock the cat boy look, huh? Or I could do cat-girl Lolita style... Hmm...I'll ask Francis, he's the one who'll be going with me after all.

I don't have much else to say, only that being petted is nice...

I'm debating inviting Prussia to sleep in my room, but then I risk exposing my CCTV hub.

I think I'll leave it for now, I don't want to seem too forwards.

Anyway, Cheerio!


	47. 23rd February

**_Captain's Log 2016: Entry 47:_**

 _Tuesday 23rd February 2016:_

I spoke to Francis, he said that not hiding my ears would be a bad idea. I get where he's coming from, so I'm going to make sure my outfit includes a nice hat.

Belgium's a little annoyed at France right now and is keeping her distance from him.

My gut hurts at the moment, a power station collapsed in Oxford and the pain woke me up from my nap.

Oh, by the way, I am now part of the Grecian Army. I am the Human Liason, apparently, same with Spain's turtles. I spend a lot of time with Mussy around my shoulders and Bert the turtle sat on my head, curled up on my swivel-loveseat sleeping.

Needless to say it's very very nice. Especially because people keep petting me on their way through.

Everyones starting to realise that I've turned into a massive softie. I don't mind them knowing, easier than doing constant insult calculations so I make sure I sound mean but don't overstep any boundaries.

Anyway, I'm going to sleep now! Cheerio!


	48. 25th February

**_Captain's Log 2016: Entry 48:_**

 _Thursday 25th February 2016:_

I'm sorry I wasn't there yesterday, I had completely forgotten I was meant to be at the BRIT Awards last night.

Thank God for iPhone reminders is all I can say, jesus...

It was good for me to get out of the house, and it was a great night, I caught up with a few celebrity friends of mine, laughed at Justin Bieber forgetting his lyrics, cried...

Yes, I cried, even as the great man himself sat next to me, watching what was his closest friend give a public eulogy to him. He said to me, after the tribute played, that he felt deeply honoured, that he had a legacy such as this to have given to the world. He said how it's not everyday you get to see your own life presented to you.

He's happy with what he's left behind, and is enjoying Rock and Roll heaven for all it's worth, as he rightly should.

Good night.


	49. 26th February

**_Captain's Log 2016: Entry 48:_**

 _Thursday 25th February 2016:_

My apologies, I though it was obvious that last night I was talking about David Bowie and the tribute performed by Lorde at the BRIT Awards.

Anyway;

STEP UP STEP UP AND WITNESS:

The History of Europe.

AS TOLD IN WEEKLY INSTALLMENTS OF BATTLES FROM THE PAST!

BROUGHT TO YOU BY:

The Glorious Duo! Prussia and England!

WEEK 3:

19 September 1356: The Battle of Poitier

And here we are! Finally in the Hundred Years War!

Of course I chose a battle I won! The only reason I didn't choose Agincourt is because archery is boring!

*sighs*

Anyway, yes, tomorrow me and France are going to Fashion Weekend, as we do most years.

We go together, spend a couple of hours together, then split up for a while, then meet back up for lunch. We can't spend more than three hours in each other's company without attempting to kill one another, and no-one wants that to happen.

Anyway, looks like me and Prussia are going to have to round up the troops against Italy pretty soon, Germany's already begun to subconsciously lean more towards our resident Dane. I don't know if Italy has realised yet but I hope for Germany's sake he hasn't.

Anyway, I really need to sleep now, I can hardly stay awake for any longer.

Cheerio and goodnight!


	50. 28th February

**_Captain's Log 2016: Entry 50:_**

 _Sunday 28th February 2016:_

I'm very sorry everyone, I fell asleep on my keyboard last night. The Holy Power in the house is seriously messing with my sleep receptor.

Anyway, I stop being a neko as of tomorrow, so yay me!

I again spent most of today asleep but I learnt that Germany made his move while I wasn't even in the freaking house! The scoundrel!

Anyway, all is fine, though Italy is starting to slip up out of anger. He actually pulled my tail today! That shit hurts!

Of course, I clawed him but still, that's a severe mask drop.

Anyway, I suppose I'll see you lot tomorrow.

Cheerio!


	51. 29th February

**_Captain's Log 2016: Entry 51:_**

 _Monday 29th February 2016:_

I am this bloody far away from murdering Italy. Oh my god he is the most evil bastard I have met this side of Tony Blair!

He's like a spoilt brat who's always gotten his way, and now he isn't he's throwing a tantrum! I know that Mat is only not getting his axe out because Ludwig doesn't want him to.

Anyway, on to less frustrating matters:

Happy Leap Year everybody!

And happy birthday you poor unfortunate souls cursed with the bad luck to be born today.

Though today is good for magic, I helped Paddy and Vlad recast the wards around the house, as well as adding a few runic keystones to secure them, hopefully until next Spring which is when they usually do it.

Anywhovian, I shall go and play with Puck and the dream faeries now.

Goodnight.


	52. 1st March

**_Captain's Log 2016: Entry 52:_**

 _Tuesday 1st March 2016:_

Wales is a lazy arse sometimes, well most of the time but most of the time it tends not to matter.

I shouldn't blame him though, after all it's not his fault Caer Ibormeith took a liking to him and blessed him with some of her sleep magic, which his body couldn't use and just lead to him being in a near constant state if unconsciousness.

Because it was his birthday, Seamus, Will, Paddy and I went to see him and give him his presents.

We found him, as usual, in the sheep pen, curled up in a nest of hay with his dragons sleeping around and on top of him.

We managed to wake him up long enough to have him open his presents then, as we usually do, fell asleep together in a dog pile of creatures.

I don't know if you've ever been to Wales, but I can tell you that even if you're bloody uncomfortable where you are lying, you will have at least a decent night's sleep. And sleeping next to Wales, in Wales, is the most relaxing and comfortable sleep in the world.

All four of us look forward to it all year. It a wonderful moment where we can forget everything and just sleep.

Anyway, I should probably sleep now, to make sure I don't get jet lag in the morning.

Good night.


	53. 3rd March

**_Captain's Log 2016: Entry 53_**

 _3rd March 2016:_

I am frightfully sorry everyone, I really wasn't planning on having to fight Italy last night.

Seriously he's as crazy as Bellatrix LeStrange! Not to mention all of the arse-ical things he did to Ludwig and made Ludwig do to him.

Personally, I'm just glad that it's over, at least for now.

I really need to sleep now, the fight lasted through the night.

Bu-bye!


	54. 5th March

**_Captain's Log 2016: Entry 54:_**

 _5th March 2016:_

I apologise but you know how it is when the server crashes.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to Mother's Day tomorrow, it's one of my favourite days of the year.

I believe it's Falklands and India's turn to cook for me tomorrow, such darlings though I have to wait 'till May for my presents from Alfred, Matthew, Jack (Aussie) and Daniel (Kiwi).

Anyway, because I missed my turn to cook on Thursday I took Italy's slot today.

I cooked everyone a variety of curries that I learned from Amaan (India) and Indonesia over the years and they seemed to be pleasantly surprised.

Though it's going to be interesting to see how many turn up late for the sermon in the morning.

I hear Romano's taking it, good for him is what I say.

Anyway, I shall say goodnight.

Goodnight.


	55. 7th March

**_Captain's Log 2016: Entry 55:_**

 _Monday 7th March 2016:_

Back in the house today, not that anything much has happened.

I'm starting to become seriously worried about Russia though, he's becoming more and more like that bully Soviet everyday, and it's all his bosses fault. I want to punch Putin right on the shnozz!

I almost forgot! The Commonwealth are all still such nice kids, I just wish I could say the same for their fathers.

Ah well, at least the Kirkland madness hasn't quite caught up yet, I don't think the world could handle it if it did.

I mean, America and Australia are bad enough, luckily Canada and New Zealand take after their Uncles in disposition.

As for the others, well, they're all very...modern, let's say.

I love all of them, of course.

Anyway, cheerio!


	56. 9th March

**_Captain's Log 2016: Entry 56:_**

 _Wednesday 9th March 2016:_

Sorry I wasn't there yesterday, I was...ahem...otherwise engaged, shall we say.

Prussia is very nice to me, even if I do have to knock him off his high horse on occasion, and most of the time I spend with him is a real treat.

Of course, he has his moments, as do we all, but still.

I am now planning for Paddy's birthday, as well as making his present, and no you don't get to know what it is yet!

Anyway, today was fun, me and Paddy mud wrestled again, and this time Denmark joined in.

I don't think he expected me to beat him, personally I just thought it good passive-aggressive revenge for that one time when he mistook me for a rabbit and shot me with his bow and arrow in the bum.

Yes, I remember that, and of course I haven't got revenge yet!

Revenge is a dish best served frozen, in my opinion.

Ah well, I sort of need to sleep now.

T.T.F.N!


	57. 12th March

**_Captain's Log 2016: Entry 57:_**

 _Saturday 12th March 2016:_

 _ **Hallo! Sid here!**_

 ** _Arthur's stuck on assignment at the moment, and he asked me to give his apologies for him._**

 ** _He'll be back tomorrow don't worry yourselves sick over it._**

 ** _Oh by the way if anyone was wondering TTFN means ta-ta-for-now._**

 ** _Tara!_**

 ** _PS: Arthur I pranked your boyfriend._**


	58. 13th March

**_Captain's Log 2016: Entry 58:_**

 _Sunday 13th March 2016:_

Oh that dickhead of an alternate self. He only went and dyed Prussia's hair bright freaking red!

He looks scarily like Vlad now, it's sort of disturbing.

Paddy, obviously, thinks it's hilarious.

How would he like it if I dyed his hair green and called him a leprechaun, huh?

Actually, I might do that, filing that one away.

So, my assignment.

Yes it was quite boring, I basically had to act a liaison and sounding board between the Angel and Demon Council.

I mean, it's interesting, but I just end up wanting to throttle them all.

Seriously they squabble like children! I spent half my time doodling in my notebook, because it's always just the same old insults and same old points and you're just like, why do you guys even try and talk to each other?

Quite like me and France a few years ago.

Anyway, we're softies now, we just exchange sarcastic banter that neither of us really mean, play fight where everyone can see us and then laugh about their faces in private afterwards.

No kidding that's what we actually do.

Anyway, I have knitting to do so I'll sign off, Cheerio!


	59. 14th March

**_Captain's Log 2016: Entry 59:_**

 _Monday 14th March 2016:_

Ah, knitting, it's so relaxing.

Also, apparently I can battle on auto-pilot.

I was completely zoned out in my music again today, and then Italy had the bright idea to attack me.

According to Spain and Romano, I fought him with my eyes closed, following the rhythm of my music even as Italy attacked off beat.

I'm quite proud of myself now, especially as I looked at what song was playing and saw it was Fade Out by Radiohead. That's one of the slowest songs I own!

Anyway, I am being summoned by my boyfriend to bed, so I'll sign off here,

Cheerio!


	60. Ides of March

**_Captain's Log 2016: Entry 60:_**

 _Tuesday 15th March 2016 (Ides of March):_

Those bloody terrorists! What the hell to they think they achieve?

I was just in the middle of reciting one of Caesar's monologues to myself this morning when Belgium gave a grunt of pain, causing Netherlands to whisk her away upstairs.

After a few moments I followed them up there, collecting some ginger from my store cupboard just in case she felt sick, only to find her in bed, unconscious.

I spoke with Netherlands and he allowed me to fix up some what you might call aromatherapy for her, leaving the bowl in her bedroom with a note stating what it was and how it would help her.

After she came down to thank me, I said it was no problem.

Oh by the way, just to let you know, I'll be on assignment from the 25th to the 31st so I won't be able to post anything. If I have a chance I'll send Sid up with an update but I wouldn't hold out too much hope.

Anyway, ttfn!


	61. 17th March

**_Captain's Log 2016: Entry 61:_**

 _Thursday 17th March 2016:_

Sorry about yesterday, Belguim took me for fish and chips to say thank you for the herbs. I said she didn't need to but she insisted.

I also seem to have aquired a role in the Grecian Army, Carer.

If one of the cats is sad or hurt, they come to me now. Crumpet and Mussy help me out when I'm not here by doing my job for me, but when I'm in the house, all the cats come to me.

Italy seems to have calmed down, I think Romano ended up having to give him a good slap to make him come to his senses.

Still hate Belgium's boss. Nothing's changing that right now, but, we shall have to see how I feel on the 23rd June, that's when the referendum is you see.

Anyway, I should probably get some sleep now, early morning assignments and all that.

Cheerio!


	62. 22nd March

**_Captain's Log 2016: Entry 62:_**

 _Tuesday 22th March 2016:_

ARGH! HECTIC!

Sorry, but yeah, stuff happened.

Basically, for Paddy's birthday, he pitted me against France for who could throw the best party.

Apart from he did it unfairly.

So France had a month to prepare for his party on Friday.

I had two days.

But, I have resources.

Namely, Ibiza and Belgium.

It's simple really. Ibiza and I sort music, Belgium helps with catering and sorting social groups and areas.

It also helps we have plans.

So, yeah, when I came up to Belgium on Thursday and said "We have a Code Lucky Charms, meet me in my room," she went immediately and as soon as Ibiza was awake and fairly sober we started doing things.

Just FYI France's party was shit.

Seriously he has no clue how to throw a party, his idea of a party is music, space to dance, a little food, and a space to have a smoke.

Parties are a much more...delicate art.

You have to make sure everyone is happy, that means making a space for the wallflowers to go to as well as having a good flow of drinks and stuff.

Anyway, I basically just got back from assignment.

By the way, the reason I'm so seemingly busy is because the Season has ended, so the diplomats who require me as meditator are back at work, which means I'm back at work.

But hey! It pays the bills.

I gave Belgium that recipe for the herbs to help her, I have a feeling she'll be suffering for a while.

Then it'll probably be me next, not that I don't already have bombs, just no big ones...yet.

Anyway, goodnight.


	63. 24th March

**_Captain's Log 2016: Entry 63:_**

 _Thursday 24th March 2016:_

So, run down of the parties.

Well, not really much to say about France's other than it was complete and utter shite.

Now mine was the good one.

So me and Izzy (Ibiza) collaborated on the music, so she was going to run the dancefloor, and I was running entertainment in the form of live music.

And my music was a request show.

Of course the birthday boys asked for lots of Thin Lizzy songs (Awesome rock band, check them out) and then proceeded to sing them drunkenly, though still in key, which I have no idea how they do.

But yes I accumulated more blackmail.

What do you do with a drunken nation?

What do you do with a drunken nation?

What do you do with a drunken nation

Early in the morning?

Film him and catch him falling,

Film him and catch him falling,

Film him and catch him falling

Early in the morning!

Oh, oops, I seem to have made a parody song.

Ah well.

Cheerio!


	64. 1st April

**_Captain's Log 2016: Entry 64:_**

 _Friday 1st April 2016:_

 _'Ello poppets! Oliver here!_

 _As you may be aware it's April Fool's Day! And that means that I get to swap places with Arthur for a day. I always have a lot of fun trying to stick fishes on Francis' back. We have a little competition, whoever can get the most fishes on the other person's back by noon gets to dress the other up. And this year I won! So I dressed Francis up as Marianne, the version of France which appears in art and such, the brunette woman who Belle from Beauty and the Beast's design was based on._

 _Anyway today has been exhausting for the both of us, so I'm going to sign off now and hand you over to Arthur again._

 _Toodles!_

Oh thank God I'm back, if I had to hear one more depressing classic quote from Francois I swear I would have made him eat his own foot!

Anyway, as Oliver said, it has been a tiring day, so I'll leave you for now.

Goodnight.


	65. 3rd April

**_Captain's Log 2016: Entry 65:_**

 _Sunday 3rd April 2016:_

Oh. My. Days.

MUSE WERE SO FUCKING AWESOME!

Just wanted to say that. I have _other things_ to do.

Toodles!


	66. 5th April

**_Captain's Log 2016: Entry 66:_**

 _Tuesday 5th April 2016:_

Right, so, Muse.

In the round, at the Barclaycard Arena, oh my god it was the most awesome thing I've seen for the past decade.

Anyway, more tales of the Grecian Army I believe are required.

So, being head Carer for the cats, I get lots of cats come to me with things like injuries and food problems, but this is the first time I've had a cat who was an anarchist.

Yes you heard right, an anarchist.

He also kind of looks like me, which explains a lot, but!

I had to deal with this, so, what I did was this:

Dealt with it like a normal human being, i.e. from my own experiences, listened and then gave a good reason as to why the issue was the way it was.

He opted to be my cat instead and is currently curled up with Mussy and a few kittens and elders in the large cat basket that sits in my room nowadays. Luckily Gilbird doesn't mind them, otherwise Gilbert would never come here. That would ruin my sex life.

Anyway, in other news:

My boss is pissed off, nothing really new there.

People telling me Brexit is a bad idea: I know! Stop bloody pestering me!

I think that's it? Yes, I think so, Cheerio!


	67. 7th April

**_Captain's Log 2016: Entry 67:_**

 _Thursday 7th April 2016:_

Well the cat's out the bag, Europe now knows me and France don't hate each other.

It happened in the best way possible though.

So I was sitting in the living room with my big novelty minion slippers on. There were quite a few nations in there seeing as it was just after dinner, though France was on dish duty.

He came in, took one look at my slippers and went, "I like your shoes."

Now. This is a thing that we have done before so of course I replied, "I like that you like my shoes."

Now I can hear Lovino snickering in the back. He's heard this before.

France goes again, "I like that you like that I like your shoes."

"'Twas a joke," I say.

"What?" he says in return.

"I despise your footwear!" I say in fake triumph.

Now that ended there. But then Francis huffed and said, "Fine English pig dog! Go and boil your bottom!"

I fought very hard to keep my laughter contained as I said "Now look here Fran-"

"I don't want to talk to you anymore you food-trough wiper!" he said, cutting me off as he should according to the script, "I fart in your general direction!"

I couldn't help myself from joining in for the last bit, "Your mother was a hamster! And your father smelt of elderberries!"

We looked at each other for two second before bursting out laughing.

The rest of the room looked at each other confused as Francis went over to me.

"You blew our cover!"

"Sorry I couldn't help myself!"

Francis gave me a slap around the back of the head.

"Wait wait wait wait," said Ireland and Prussia at the same time, "You mean to say you've been tricking us this entire time?!"

"Yep," we said together.

"Bullshit!" said Denmark.

"Nope!" I said, "Just being clever-ish."

"Yes -ish," said Francis with an eye roll.

"Oh shut up," I said, "Right I'm off to bed, see you." I said and came up here to play with the kittens.

Anyway, tomorrow is the day when Lucifer turns me into something for a week again, should be fun!

Cheerio!


	68. 8th April

**_Captain's Log 2016: Entry 68:_**

 _Friday 8th April 2016:_

A girl.

That's what Lucifer turned me into, a bloody girl!

Nothing against the female population of course, but I own one bra and zero pairs of knickers, so suffice to say this morning was rather awkward when I went to talk to Belgium.

I've decided to take the name Guinn, short for Guinevere who is still my favourite character in Merlin.

But anyway, France thought it would be a good idea to flirt with me while Prussia was in the room.

Needless to say he won't be doing that again.

Also I have really long hair now! It's a complete and utter frizzball which is pissing me off no end.

I would cut it but I'm afraid it won't let me, hair is a symbol of power after all.

I tried to brush it but I broke my brush so I gave up, it's just going to have to be the way it is I guess.

Ireland offered to try but I don't want my scalp ripped off so I declined.

Though it was useful for this week's battle.

It is only Week 4 and today was the Thirteen Years War and the Battle of Vistula Lagoon, a naval battle between Poland and the Teutonic Knights.

We commandeered the lake for the morning, it was quite fun.

Anyway, I'd better get to sleep, world meeting tomorrow and I need my mental strength.

Good night.


	69. 11th April

**_Captain's Log 2016: Entry 69:_**

 _Monday 11th April 2016:_

My wings were pink yesterday. PINK!

I'M NOT A FUCKING CUPID!

*heavy breathing*

Anyway. Today I decided to be domestic, so I did some gardening before going in and stitching Daniel's quilt that he asked for together.

Paddy's enjoying having a sister I think, and I know Belgium is enjoying having another girl to talk to.

Also, Sealand turned up today, he was very surprised to see me in the house, never mind in my current state. He just teased me about it though, causing me to attack him with tickles.

Finland came running after he heard Peter's squeals, he though I was trying to murder him:

"GUINN WHAT IS GOING ON?!" he yelled over Peter's squeals.

I grabbed a hold of him to stop him running away before turning to Tino, "It's called fun Mama, maybe you should try it?" I said teasingly, before lifting a still laughing Peter by his ankles, "He's fine see?"

Tino shook his head, "Okay, so long as he's not harmed," he said before walking out.

I rolled my eyes, and looked at Peter, "What does he think you're made of? Sugar?"

"I think so," he answered with a sigh, "I never get to do anything fun."

I frowned, and dumped him on the sofa, allowing him to scramble to his feet, "So, he doesn't let you climb trees?" I asked.

Peter shook his head, "He's so boring! Though he's not a Jerk like you!"

"Oh come off it you little toerag!" I said, getting him in a light headlock before turning to a sill giggling Paddy, "And you! You haven't fixed this mess?!"

He shrugged, "Never got a chance to," he said.

I rolled my eyes again, "Come on," I said, dragging Peter to the forest.

"Hey where are you taking me?!"

"Someplace fun," I said, "Let's see how good a monkey you'd make," I said with a grin. Peter returned it and we spent a good hour climbing and falling out of trees.

We came back covered in mud, grass, leaves and twigs but that was nothing a nice warm bubble bath couldn't sort.

After that, me and him roped Paddy into a day of being siblings for once. Along the way we collected Prussia, Matthias and Hungary to join in the fun. it was an awesome day: teaching each other games from our countries and learning the equivalents. We were all exhausted by dinner, which was eaten with great gusto.

Afterwards Tino insisted Sealand sleep in the camp bed set up in his and Sweden's room though Sealand seemed happy to sleep in Prussia's bed seeing as that set of rooms is currently unoccupied with Prussia sleeping in my bedroom and Ludwig sleeping in Denmark's. He didn't seem that happy to go with his supposed Mama and Papa, I think he's finally realised how much of a good Big Sibling I am.

Anyway, I'll see you lot tomorrow, hopefully.

Goodnight.


	70. 15th April

**_Captain's Log 2016: Entry 70:_**

 _Friday 15th April 2016:_

Well I'm going to be a girl for a month longer.

I'm dreading it.

Well, not being a girl, just dreading my period.

I'll describe period cramps to you when I get them if there's any boys out there reading who want to know.

Anyway, I've been gardening quite a lot recently.

There is now a garden on the South side of the house where I'm growing all sorts of wonderful plants. Everyone's national flower, vegetables for the kitchen. I always prefer having fresh fruit and vegetables if I can get a hold of them. I mean France has a herb garden but I love having fresh tomatoes, and I know Spain and Romano will appreciate them when they're ripe as well. I'm going to have to hide them well if I want to see any.

Denmark and Sweden have shown an interest in joining in Maypole Dancing on the 1st May. I'm going to quite enjoy that day I feel.

I've also acquired a raven who I've named Heimdall, I rather like him. He nests in my hair and caws at people to scare them. It's very funny watching people jump.

I suppose it fits now that my tattoo is a group of six ravens in a circle. I rather prefer it that way, I might get that one on the small of my back if it doesn't stay that way.

Any way it's Belgium's birthday on Tuesday so we may have a small party.

Ah well, I should sleep, night!


	71. 18th April

**_Captain's Log 2016: Entry 71:_**

 _Monday 18th April 2016:_

It's started. My period.

Good God it's a hassle! I salute all you women out there who have to put up with this every month. You're a lot stronger than I and a lot of other men could ever hope to be.

And it's because I'm a man that I can admit that.

Anyway, Russia came around today, searching out the Baltics I assume. Unfortunately for me I was covered in cats when he came in.

"Ah, England, I see you have become more like Greece, da?" he asked with a smile.

"Apparently so," I said extracting myself from the pile, "Why are you here, Ivan?"

"I wanted to see my little Baltics again," he said, "I do so like seeing them."

Now I was sure that the three were in their rooms still asleep and I was sure they didn't want to be woken up by Russia so I did a bit of distraction work, "Oh, they're out right now," I said, "They were going on a sightseeing day I think."

"Oh? Is shame, I wanted to see them," he said.

"Hmm, well maybe we could sort out our ballet piece instead?" said I.

"Da, we should do that," said Ivan with a smile.

For the past couple years Ivan and I have been dancing ballet together, doing progressively harder dances. I've certainly improved in my technique since I've started with him.

This dance we're doing is the dance between Romeo and Mercutio in the Bolshoi's production of Romeo and Juliet.

It's a beautiful piece of movement. You should look it up if you ever get the chance.

Anyway, that's all for today.

Cheerio.


	72. 22nd April

**_Captain's Log 2016: Entry 72:_**

 _Friday 22nd April 2016:_

Sorry about yesterday! I was so caught up with the Queen's birthday celebrations I completely lost track of time.

I also haven't eaten today excepting one Mars bar. It was necessary.

Anyway, I've been stealing Sealand away from Tino at every available turn. The reason is two-fold. 1) He's being spoilt rotten and 2) Tino treats him as though he's made of sugar. He's made of steel and bricks!

*sigh*

He's unbearable honestly. No wonder Peter want to be his own nation, just to get away from him.

I get the feeling Tino's not going to let him go lightly, he already doesn't trust me with him.

So what else happened?

Oh yes RIP Prince...I've been trying not to think about that.

Erm... Oh yeah Vlad's in major debt so we kicked him out of Eurovision.

Also It's my birthday tomorrow! Of course the Commonwealth have organised a party for me on the sly.

Actually, it's not that sly it's just where America can't see it. I hate having him at parties, he's way too obnoxious to fit in at our parties. At least the others can level themselves out.

Anyway, that's all for now. Cheerio!


	73. 25th April

**_Captain's Log 2016: Entry 73:_**

 _Monday 25th April 2016:_

Well the party was awesome, I got some great presents.

Prussia got me a new mug and a nice pair of fleece pyjamas. They're very comfortable.

France got me a cool new Black Butler poster.

America sent me a pair of new trainers, they're quite comfortable, not as comfy as the ones I wear normally though.

Oh the funniest thing happened this morning:

So we were all lounging around in the living room and Romano came in with a book in his hand, "Hey! Which one of you bastardos left this on my worktop?!" he said.

Antonio who was sitting diagonally from me raised his hand sheepishly. Romano huffed and threw it to him.

Unfortunately for Francis, Romano's not a very good throw, so the book hit the back of his head instead of going over his head to Toni. Everyone else burst out laughing as he sort of sat there with a slightly dazed expression. He handed the book to Toni but not before miming throwing something at Romano in retaliation.

We laughed at that for about a minute, just shows you how childish we are I suppose.

Anyway, cheerio!


	74. 27th April

**_Captain's Log 2016: Entry 74:_**

 _Wednesday 27th April 2016:_

Apologies to anyone in the UK for the erratic weather but I'm afraid I got sick.

Some demon prick poisoned me while I was down in Hel on an errand so now I feel like shit.

On top of that Gilbert's been cheating on me, I know I can smell Hungary's perfume on him.

I'll confront him when I'm feeling less sick but for now the only one I'm letting in my rooms is Paddy.

I'll let you know how the break up goes when I get there.

Good night.


	75. Chapter 75

**_Captain's Log 2016: Entry 75:_**

 _Saturday 30th April 2016:_

So break up was alright, Gil's currently rotting in Will's basement, that's what happens when you hurt me nowadays.

Anyway, I've been hitting a little bit of a low in terms of my sanity at the moment. I'm not sure though I'm sure I'll be fine. May Day should certainly help.

I'm dressing Den and Sve up in proper Maypole attire tomorrow when we head to Avalon. Titania always throws the best celebrations.

Anyway, I'll see you on the other side of that I guess.

Goodnight.


	76. 4th May

**_Captain's Log 2016: Entry 76:_**

 _Wednesday 4th May 2016:_

Oh I am so sorry, things. All of the things have been happening.

I've basically become a therapist.

Yes you read that right, a therapist.

You remember the set up I had with Germany at the start of the whole Italy fiasco right?

Well, it's been happening again and again quite recently, everyone's been coming to me with their problems and I've been a sounding board and advice desk for them.

For example, Romano's been having flashbacks from when Rome was around. _Rome!_

Apparently, he was always ignored in favour of his brother, but seeing as Turkey had kicked him out, he was stuck in a rut, leaving him with that spiky shell of his.

A similar thing happened with Germania and Prussia.

Germania was unbelievably harsh on Prussia, leaving him with a shell too, but that shell of blinding ego he has, rather than mine or Romano's spiky ones.

Oh, Greece and Wales met for the first time on Sunday when the Channel Islands all came over for the May Day festival. I do believe they're still sleeping together now.

Ah the Festival was amazing this year, Denmark and Sweden were very happy to dance with the islands and I do believe that Sweden has adopted little Jersey and Guernsey into the family, they're all very sweet.

I do believe that's it.

Oh, not quite,

May the Fourth be with you.


	77. 10th May

**_Captain's Log 2016: Entry 77:_**

 _Tuesday 10th May 2016:_

Thank the Gods I got out of there!

I'm so sorry I was kidnapped by some idiotic cultists and held in a secure environment that I was only able to escape from yesterday.

They've been getting help from someone, and when I find out who they will live to regret it.

Anyway, I am indeed male now! It is a welcome relief trust me. You girls, I don't know how you do it!

Anyway, because the last day of me bring female was a world meeting, Alfred was there.

The dickhead used my weakness of musicals against me!

He only went and sang Suddenly Seymour from Little Shop as part of his bloody speech!

It's a good bloody job I _was_ kidnapped so I could hide my freaking embarrassment.

Anyway, I'm planning on getting my own back somehow...

Details on that to follow I think.

Anyway, I'd better get some sleep.

Nighty-Night!


	78. 12th May

**_Captain's Log 2016: Entry 78:_**

 _Thursday 11th May 2016:_

Oh it is so on!

Did anyone see Lizzie's reaction to the Obama's challenge for the Invictus games this year?

Let's just say that the stakes were high.

America and I have been snapping at each other about it quite a bit.

Though that's not as important as EUROVISION!

Poor Icey, he's so sad he didn't get in, not that most can tell seeing as he always seems depressed but he is.

Anyway, I'm just happy the Italies have finally allowed civil partnerships! Let us celebrate!

We did, by the way, it was rather nice.

Anyway, I shall see you lot tomorrow, probably.

Toodles!~


	79. 16th May

**_Captain's Log 2016: Entry 79:_**

 _Tuesday 16th May 2016:_

Oh god this weekend

Fair's fair to Ukraine, her song was pretty good.

Though Germany and Prussia looked more and more like they wanted to murder the Pole who is currently sleeping with my cats as the voting went on.

Oh well, at least I actually got a 12 points this year!

Also, I'm going to go to sleep now, because I'm very tired from my last mission.

Poppy fields. Always the Poppy fields...


	80. 8th June

**_Captain's Log 2016: Entry 80:_**

 _Wednesday 8th June 2016:_

FINALLY I AM FREE!

Oh thank the heavens and Fates and Lucifer for getting me out of there!

So basically, Norway got wind of the fact that I was in the EU house, and then consequently flipped his absolute shit and went all yandere on me.

He kidnapped me and locked me up with no internet or company at all.

I only just managed to get out when Lucifer turned up to find out why the hell I wasn't doing my job and went full on rage.

So yeah, I'm happy in my ball of kittens and fluff, see you tomorrow.

Cheerio!


	81. 11th June

**_Captain's Log 2016: Entry 81:_**

 _Saturday 11th June 2016:_

OOOHH that Russian!

For god's sake! I nearly had that one! We played some good footy!

Ah whatever. Wales is here and staying with me while North stays with Paddy. Russia's sleeping on the sofa downstairs because no-one wants him in their room.

Sealand's rooming with us for now as well though, he's sleeping with his Uncle Dylan right now, amazingly there is still space on the bed for me.

Dylan's mumbling for me now. I should wrap up.

Have pleasant dreams everyone, I know I will be.


	82. 19th June

**_Captain's Log 2016: Entry 82:_**

 _Sunday 19th June 2016:_

Excuse me for not being here but I've been alternating between victory dances and dealing with pissed off brothers who want my hide.

Keith is so pissed off at me over the rugby it's hilarious!

Anyway, it's the referendum next week, and the Polls are saying I want to leave this place. Looking back at the two on the bed, I'm inclined to disagree, but there's a lot of my younger people wanting to stay who can't vote to say what they want.

Whether that's good or bad I don't know, but I know whatever happens, it'll be most certainly a two sided coin.

I shall see you on the otherside of it I suppose.

Good night.


	83. 27th June

**_Captain's Log 2016: Entry 83:_**

 _Monday 27th June 2016:_

I suppose there's no way I can erase what's happened is there?

No? No there's not...

Well yes. Look where everything's got me, it's rather depressing.

Scotland's pissed off at me, North's pissed off at me, Wales is pissed off at me... Heck I'm pissed off at myself!

I've got a bloody cold and will have for weeks according to the experts.

I've got to wait 2 years or more before anything's actually going to happen.

Everything's just going to pot.

I went to Glastonbury to forget, but now I'm back, Iceland just slaughtered me in the footy, but to be honest, I don't even care anymore.

I need a hug...But there's no-one left to give me one. Maybe I'll go see if Ivan would mind me sleeping with him.

Goodnight, and I wish the world good luck.


End file.
